Overwhelmed

Ok in the last few months I admit... I have been overwhelmed with stuff. Yes just stuff, you know that every day stuff... Dealing with the house, kids, hubby and so forth.
I wanted to write something that would express how hard things have been, and how I have managed to make it through with great grace and composure. But I think I will write about my life instead.
I really do not have it terribly bad, but it has not all been easy. It's hard when you are alone all day with an almost 2 year old who is just starting to form audible words, and an almost 1 year old whose main form of "talking" is yelling at the top of her lungs when she wants something. Also, I think most stay at home parents feel like they are just plain out of the loop. We long for the days of lingering conversations with others... Including our spouses. Yet, most SAHMs do realize that their spouses are working hard just so we can stay home.
Mike and I got into an argument this weekend. Yes we do argue... Just like every other couple who has been together long enough to know that they do not agree on everything. I admit, some things he said really hurt me. It took me awhile, however, to get over my pride, and really start thinking about some of the things he said. One thing he said was that I rely to much on others for my happiness.
It's true. I really do.
When things are going well, my kids are happy, my hubby is happy, my house is clean... Then so am I. I feel like I have done my job well, as wife and mother. But when I have had a rough day with the kids, and Mike comes home grumpy, and the house is a mess, then I feel like a failure. I feel like somehow it's all tied to me.
In a sense it is. I have heard the comment many times that the mom/wife sets the tone in the house. "When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" was a statement on a plaque at local craft fair. It's true. I have noted that the kids and Mike seem to react to my moods, inasmuch as I react to theirs. I need to re-learn to be happy in All situations.
I used to know how to do that. When I broke my arm, I was like that. I knew there was a reason for it, and that some how God would use my broken arm for his glory, somehow. I was thankful for all that I went through. God granted me much grace during that time. I am not sure what has happened since then. I feel like life is slowly spinning out of my control. Control is a big issue with me... Mike also pointed that out to me. BAM! Another reality slap in the face. One much needed.
I have also been thinking a lot about my walk with Christ, and how that has and has not affected situations like the argument above. It made me realize that I have not been doing what I need to be doing. It's kind of like exercising... You know you need to do it and that's good for you and that you feel pretty good after, but you still don't to do it. I feel like that. It's not that I don't like studying about God and reading my Bible. It's just that I get so convicted, that my convictions stop me in my tracks. So, I never even make it to the part where I come to the feet of Christ and ask forgiveness and I feel better.
I finally made it to that point today. And wouldn't you know it... I DO feel better. I feel better because I no longer have a huge burden on my back. I feel better because I know that with God all things are possible, even me getting rid of my foolish pride, and giving up some of my oh-so-precious control.
Anyway, I am not even sure why I am writing this other than I wanted to show Mike and others that I really am trying to make things right in my life.
So I guess I should get on with it... My life that is... hehe

Another day at the park

With the weather being just about perfect here, we have once again taken to spending time at the park. We recently bought a wagon, and that has been a life saver. Tim has not wanted to sit in the stroller for some time. Yet, he is perfectly content to sit in the wagon. He also likes to kick his sister, so that may have something to do with it...LOL

Alexa also loves the wagon, but now that she is mobile she wants to be out and exploring everything. She loves to get around after her brother. I think sometimes he likes it and other times I think he would prefer her to hurry up...LOL. Typical brother. But over all they do seem to have fun at the park.

This picture was taken while Lex was sitting in the wagon. I just has to post it. She is so beautiful.

Anyway, I know in the next few weeks there will be lots to post. The kids are having their Birthday party next weekend,we are also hoping to make it to the zoo in the next few weeks and then there is Valentine's day. The SAHM group I belong to is having a Valentine's Day Party, so there will be lots of pictures.
So make sure you check back...

Ol' Tim and Li'l Lex

When I was a child one of my favorite books to read was _Where the Red Fern Grows_ which is a story about a boy and his two dogs, Old Dan and Little Ann.

Set in the Ozarks, this boy earns, buys (risking his life to travel to get them), and trains his two dogs to hunt 'coons (raccoons).

I have very fond memories of that book and one day wish to read it to my children. But, perhaps you are wondering why I remembered this book. Well, I'll tell you: Old Dan was characterized by strength, boldness, determination, and passion. But, he was also characterized by such courage and tenacity that he could easily be fooled by the cunning raccoons who made an artform out of evasion and escape.

To balance Old Dan, there is Little Ann who has far less size and strength, but is a match, if not superior to the tactical thinking of the coons. Old Dan can be fooled, but Little Ann can keep up with the best of them and outthink them to boot.

It was not that Old Dan was dumb. When the dog took time to think he showed considerable brilliance. His problem is that he was too passionate to take the time to think.

Little Ann was able to step back and thing things through before engaging and possibly get trick or trapped. She had to. She lacked the significant strength of Old Dan and had to rely on strategy. She assisted Dan while Dan lead the charge. While the coon was engaged in combat against Dan, Little Ann would often surprise from behind or above.

Why did I think of the book?

The other day I was watching a jealous Timothy run and take away a book that Alexa was reading and start to read it himself. Mind you, up until she had it he was oblivious to it. You know the drill.

I am not kidding when I say this, but Alexa had an expression of patience while she reached over and grabbed another toy, a truck, and rolled it once and let it go. While she was in mid-roll, Tim had dropped the book that he wanted so badly moments before and started playing with the truck.

And there sat Alexa, who, having tricked her brother into grabbing a different toy, continued to read that book as though nothing had happened.

Clever girl.

Updates??

Ok so it's been almost a week and no more updates. LOL Guess that means things are slow around here right? NOT!
Actually things really have not been to bad... Just busy... Normal everyday, busy.
We are doing what we are supposed to be doing.
Mike is working, I get to stay home and take care of the house and kids. The kids are growing and learning.
So I guess in that respect things really are slow around here.
Anyway, I should have some new pics to post in the next few days... Lex has been really cute walking with her bike/walker thingie, and Tim's new verbal skills are cause for a new blog. So there are things for us to blog about, I guess it's just finding the time and the energy to sit down and do it... (I know ironic when you consider that I am currently blogging. But blogging about things being slow is not as hard as finding specific things to blog about...LOL)
So, there will be more specific articles to come in the next few days...
Till then take care

General updates

Ok so now that this month is halfway over things are looking pretty good.
We have all been healthy for over a week now, Mike took care of the kids last weekend (see post below), so I got a nice and much needed break, the kids are becoming more independent every day, so I actually feel like I can get some things accomplished, (including concentrating on my business).
Wow, that's actually accomplishing a lot for the first 3 weeks in January. LOL
I was leary at first that this year was going to be a good one. We started off the year with all of us being sick, and it seemed like things might have gone down from there. But my Hubby came to the rescue. After a night out with out the kiddos, and all of us being healthy, I can finally get around to celebrating what I think will truly be a great year.
Both Tim and Lex, will be celebrating Birthdays in Feb. Hard to believe. (It's even harder to believe if you look at Lex, she is still such a tiny thing... Almost a year old and not even 16 pounds yet). So we are looking forward to that.
Both are becoming much more independent. Tim is making great strides in his understanding, he is learning things with great speed, and enthusiasiam. Lex also is trying her hardest to be more independent. She is finally walking some, and her vocabulary is coming along as well. Tim is such a great big brother. He loves to help her and dote on her... He also likes to pick on her and lay on her and try and wrestle her.... Ahhhh, siblings. Yet, I am not sure they would know what to do with out one another. Lex has never known any different, and Timmy was little enough that he adjusted to her presence with relative ease. They are best buds, and I am thankful they get along.
Mike and I are also doing well. Mike is busy with work, and his ministry work at Alpha and Omega Ministries, plus teaching Greek one night a week. Pretty busy guy.
I, on the other hand have all the time in the world.... HAHAHAHAHA!
Yeah right... All the time in the world to take care of the house, hubby, kids and try to get some business stuff done in between. But it's all good.
God was good to us in 2005, and I think 2006 is looking bright with possibility.
Let's just hope we all stay well enough to enjoy it.

A night with the boys...

Every so often Shannon likes to go out with one of her friends to do...whatever to moms do whenever they are away from their kids (which, if I am not mistaken, amounts to talking about the kids). When those times come, I tend to volunteer to watch the kids so that Shannon's friend does not have to pay for a baby sitter.

So, here I was the other night with four kids, three of them boys and then Alexa. Amy, Shannon's friend (well, she is mine, too) has twin boys. James and Patrick showed up and immediately James started gravitating toward Alexa. While she was eating, he was hugging her, trying to lift her out of her seat, feeding her...

"James, you and I need to have a talk," said Dad in a deep, rumbling voice as he cleaned and oiled his shotgun.

What was most disconcerting is that Alexa was not refusing his advances. But, it was truly funny to see Alexa playing this up for all it was worth. As the song goes, "And everywhere Alexa went, James was sure to follow." It was as if she knew he would do just about whatever she wanted him to.

Breathe Dad...just breathe.

Well, eventually the balance of testosterone in the room won out because after a while of James fawning all over Alexa, Timothy, the rowdiest of the group, got the guys to chase, jump, wrestle, climb, tackle, tumble, and rumble all over the house.

One would give chase and the others would run, then another would pursue, and this would end in a cataclysmic thunderous crashing of heads and elbows. So long as I laughed or said, "Jump up, you're OK!" they would be fine (I made sure they really were fine, of course). Had I given a gasp at any moment then all would be lost and the tears would start rolling.

I have noticed that boys tend to realize early on that crying takes away from their playtime, so they suck it up and go for broke. Yes, it is that "Y" chromosome that places such magnificent healing powers into the mind of the boy. And, yes, sometimes it is only in the mind of the boy that they are ok.

To be sure, I was careful not to make them think that they were ok when I could easily tell they were not. Sometimes I would have to call halftime and inspect the troops (he said as he mixed his metaphors).

Now, what was most fun about this is that "the boys" wanted to get rough and tumble with me, so one played football, another jumped and tackled me, and another played catch with a splash ball. Such times!

Poor Alexa by this point was moving here and there trying to avoid getting squished. I think she is learning that walking and running has its advantages (she can walk, she just hasn't really decided she wants to, yet.)

So, Daddy and Alexa would play in between rough-housing with the others.

Alexa has a completely different manner of dealing with trauma. See, with Timothy, a thermonuclear blast can be detonated an inch from his ears and he will look up as if to say, "Huh? You call me?" Any stern speaking to him requires a bit more "umph" than with Alexa. With Alexa, Shannon can say in a calm, but stern voice, and say something such as, "Alexa, don't drop your food on the floor" and within seconds the water works fall.

She seems to be very sensitive. Of course, Shannon's dad tells me that he never really had to discipline Shannon. He would look at her in a particular way and she would know she had done something wrong and sometimes even break out in tears.

Hmm...I am sure if our respective parents were to compare notes we would find a very lopsided, if not unanimous opinion as to whom which child takes after on the behavior front.

Well, back to the night in...

What really seemed to be the pinnacle of the evening was when Timothy, instinctively knowing what time it was, started shouting with typical Timmy Excitement (TR) "Read!" Yes, after Alexa (wiped out by this time) was put to bed, Tim knew it was time for Story Time with Dad.

I figured the Patrick and James, unaware of this tradition, would have kept right on playing, but they seemed especially infected by Timothy's enthusiasm (it really is contagious, even for Shannon and me).

So, all balls were dropped and the TV turned off (smooth except for a moment where Patrick tried to turn it back on). And, soon, all eyes were on the book Tim picked out, which was not the Chronicles of Narnia at first. It was a book Shannon had bought him for Christmas ($1.50--what a fabulous investment!). In a short time, I had all three kids roaring like lions, barking like dogs, quacking like ducks, and two of them telling me colors.

Suddenly, they wanted more books, so Patrick got one, James got one, Timothy got one...they could not get enough! Finally, I started to read The Chronicles of Narnia and they started to settle down and drift off.

Sometime late in the night, Shannon and Amy came home from doing...whatever.

Yeah, a night in with the boys (and girl) was quite an experience.

One note about Alexa:

She may have been outnumbered and dodging feet and limbs for her life, but she held her own. We had quite the fun time just looking at books and pictures for half the night while the other kids were playing. She is getting used to being the only girl in our circles.

Nap Time

Nap time in our house has become interesting. My son is getting wise to my tactics of getting him to take a nap.
It used to be I could go in there and threaten him with a time out, and he would lay down and go to sleep.
Then it escalated to actually putting him in time out.
Now he just looks and me and laughs, when I put him in time out. (sigh)
Ok let me clarify something, my son has a tendency to destroy his room if left unchecked at nap time. He will stay in the room, but will manage to pull out EVERY toy and book off the shelf. He also likes to climb on the window sill next to his sisters bed (Although is learning that is an automatic spanking).
I have thought about taking everything out of there. Unfortunately we are cramped as it is.
I am guessing that consistency is the key here, but if anyone out there has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know.

This to shall pass.

Other wise things are pretty normal around here, we are just taking things a day at time.
The kids are both growing up, and learning a ton... (so are Mike and I as parents.)
So there is not much else to report for the moment.
Thanks for stopping by and take care!

Those static cling sheets really work...

Ok things are a little better this week. Now that the holidays are a few weeks behind us, and our schedule is back to normal. It also helps that we are all on the road to recovery, after being sick for the last few weeks. (Except poor Lex who is teething and is pretty miserable, but there is not much to be done about that... Poor baby!)
I told Mike the other night.... "The first two weekends in the new year I have been stuck at home with sick kids, I hope this is not the way the rest of my year goes."
So far things are looking better for this upcoming weekend... But it's only Monday so we'll see.
We are now in the process of planning the kids birthdays. Hard to believe Tim will be 2 and Lex will be a year. Where has the time gone.

It seems like it was just the other day Lex was so tiny. (oh wait she still is tiny...LOL) But you know what I mean. They are growing up so fast. Both of them are on that high learning curve. They are learning something new everyday. It's amazing. I am loving the fact that they are both able to entertain each other. However, it does not last long, as Tim likes to torment his sister by laying on her, and pushing her... And so on. Although, she managed to get in a good hit of her own the other day, right in the nose. LOL!
Well this Feb. ought to be interesting. I just hope we have room for all their stuff...

Static Cling

Have you ever had static cling?
You know like when clothes come out of a dryer with no Bounce sheet, and the sock that perpetually sticks to every other piece of clothing. Especially the clothes you are wearing.
That is how I feel right now about my kids.
I love my kids don't get me wrong. But I am so ready for a break.
The holidays were fun, but busy, and now that we are into the new year, we are already experiencing sickness in our house. So things have been a little clingy these days.
I took Tim to the park today, and left Lex with Mike. He told me when she got up from her nap, she crawled around the house long enough to realize I was not there... And then she became almost despondent. As soon as I walked in the door and she heard my voice, I heard her start crying.
We have a game we play in our house... It's called "Let's count the seconds till Lex stops crying after mom picks her up." Her average is 3 seconds to stop. (sigh) And it's not like I spoil her. There are lots of times I let her cry it out.
Tim is getting better. He is, at least to some degree, able to let me out of site for awhile. But then he has his static cling moments too. Usually those seem to coincide with me holding Lex or doing something equally as important.
I really do love my kids.
But I need a break (sigh)

Christmas

Whew! The holidays are finally over.

It was great to see my family and spend time with them. We spent Christmas eve at my Uncle's. He owns horses, and took the kids to see them.

Tim was a little scared at first, but after while he warmed up to them. I think he did not realize the actual size of the horses... He was fine after awhile and liked to wander up and down the stalls and look at the horses. Lex was great. She even let my Uncle put her up on one.
After a wonderful dinner, we exchanged gifts.
It was a lot of fun... Of course the kids made out like bandits. They also got to help everyone else open up their gifts, so that just added to the fun.
After all that was said and done, there was play time...
My cousin has a son who is only 4 month older than Tim, so they got to play. Lex was busy relaxing with my Grandma. All in all it was a wonderful evening.

After all that we went back to my folks and opened presents. I swear we managed to double our load coming home. The kids made out there too. (But as my grandma likes to say they are not spoiled.... Just well loved)
Anyway it was a great Christmas, and a wonderful time to spend time with Family.
The next project on the board is the kids Birthdays... I hope we can make enough room in our house for all their stuff by then... :)